At this point, most of us understand that dramatic gender reveal stunts are bullcrap. More often than not, it seems like they tend to go horribly wrong—but also, gender is a construct, and just be happy that you’re having a healthy baby for heck’s sake.
So, in the instance of this Reddit AITA (“am I the asshole”) post in which a woman asked if she deserves her sister-in-law’s scorn for accidentally spoiling a Thanksgiving gender reveal, we’re already on her side. But when we heard the whole story? We’re really on her side.
As the woman explains in the post (which has since been removed by Reddit) her sister-in-law had chosen her to be the “secret keeper” for the gender reveal.
“I planned this for weeks, I set it up days in advance, I took every precaution to not tell anyone what the baby was,” she wrote. “I was gonna kill it!”
Unfortunately, things did not go exactly as planned. As she explains, the night before the big day, she was running through last-minute logistics with the sister-in-law.
“SIL asked me something about the smoke bombs and I said, ‘Once you pull the pin, it’ll smoke white for ten seconds, and then it’ll smoke blue.’ … And before I could recover, we both realized I slipped!”
What transpired next sounds more on par with a toddler having a tantrum than a woman about to give birth to a tiny human.
“Then she locks herself in the bathroom, crying, saying it’s all ruined and that she doesn’t even want to do it now because there’s no point, refuses to talk to me… I gave her some space, obviously felt HORRIBLE, I went back a while later and said how sorry I was, and that I can’t believe I just effing did that. I told her a story about how I ‘ruined’ my own engagement but that we still got married … And there’s still a baby coming! And no one else knows! Like, there are people coming that will still play the guessing game, and no one will know that she found out… idk, I felt like shit, and we were both crying and I thought it was fine.”
It was, however, not fine. Not fine at all!
“Then, we were supposed to go to dinner with our in-laws and she didn’t go. OK great, clearly she doesn’t want to sit thru dinner with me. I get it, it’s still raw, she’s upset. Whatever. But THEN, I get to dinner and see that she posted on Facebook about how her gender reveal was accidentally ruined and that ‘just so everyone knows.. we already know… #neverdoingagenderrevealagain,’ and that ‘it was supposed to be a special moment and it was ripped away and I’ll never get it back’ and ‘I wanted to find out, but not like this,’ AND ON AND ON.
Someone asked, ‘how was it ruined?’ And she answered that her sister-in-law (ME) accidentally said the color. Mind you, her parents didn’t know, his parents didn’t know, our other sister-in-law didn’t know, and she really just wanted to post on Facebook Live and to have the stupid pics, anyway. I want to be supportive and excited because I know she’s like that and I enjoy doing things like this for people but COME ON! No one would have known it was ‘ruined’ if you hadn’t posted that!! And everyone knows who the person that ruined it was! ME!”
At any rate, they went through with the gender reveal as planned and that the woman explained that it was “streamed live so her ‘intimate’ gathering could get all the likes and comments.” Though, not satisfied with being petty on main, her sister-in-law neglected to “tag” her in the post. Not that she was offended about not being tagged, mind you, but that the omission spoke volumes.
“So Reddit, am I the asshole for spilling the beans?” she finally asked. “Or is my SIL over-dramatic and petty for blasting me all over social media??”
In what should not come as a huge surprise, the people of Reddit quickly confirmed to the woman that the asshole in the situation was her sister-in-law. “NTA. You made an honest mistake; she’s overreacting to a ridiculous degree,” wrote one user.
Others pointed out the inherent narcissism involved. “She wasn’t really interested in the ‘reveal,’ she was interested in the attention,” added another user. “Making a fuss got her the attention anyway.”
“The sense of entitlement and self-involvement over something so stinking petty is unbelievable,” slammed yet another. “This mother-to-be should get a grip. This is peanuts. What is she going to do when something truly difficult happens?”
Well, we wish the happy couple and their bundle of joy the best of luck. Truly, it sounds as though they are going to need it.