If you’re lucky, your family members, love, support, and inspire you. If you’re not so lucky, they’re selfish manipulative psychos who will turn against you the second they need something.
Reddit user u/paperweightfairy and her fiancé have booked their dream wedding venue in advance. They weren’t in a rush, so it seemed perfectly fine to wait a bit and have the ceremony they both wanted. As the big day was nearing, however, her sister got pregnant. Which wouldn’t be a problem in itself. But the gal started pressuring u/paperweightfairy, demanding she and her fiancé give up their venue. And she wouldn’t stop even after hearing a polite “no.”
Image credits: istockphoto / Motortion (not the actual photo)
You probably couldn’t find a family without any hard times. During these difficult moments, it’s important to think clearly. However, not letting emotions get the better of us is definitely easier said than done. Still, there are a few simple things you can do to make it easier for yourself:
- Stay true to the facts. When people are going back and forth, they might forget the essence of the issue. Therefore, it’s important to determine what it is that you’re fighting over and try to prevent the conflict from getting even bigger.
- Pause. We have a tendency to respond to a situation immediately because we want our voice to be heard. And if someone starts throwing accusations at us, it’s natural to try and defend ourselves. But putting some distance between you and whomever you are fighting with first is a very good idea. Gathering your thoughts could help the both of you gain some perspective.
- Set boundaries. You need to set clear boundaries to maintain not only your safety, but your sanity as well. Defining these limits very clearly and not letting anyone belittle what you’ve decided might actually save you a lot of energy.
- Redefine relationships. Lastly, if things continue to deteriorate and you ran out of options, you may have to redefine your relationship with that family member. The fact that you’re related doesn’t mean you must live in misery. Toxic dynamics don’t help anyone.